Letting Go

What I did yesterday was basically an intervention. I traded on the goodwill built up over the years to get my sister to agree to working with me and then used my skills at holding up the mirror to give her the bad news. ‘Hey you are acting like a victim and many people are trying to tell you that. I have supported you in the hopes you would work through your stuff and come to your own conclusion that it is time to heal and become whole. Judging from your behaviour following the funeral, it seems you are not going to reach this conclusion without someone holding up the mirror. Here is the mirror.’
In holding up the mirror I act as an instrument of Divinity and do and say what is given me. It is not my stuff, but it comes through me. There is always a feeling of euphoria when this process is complete and a sense of a job well done. This wears off in time, replaced by the stark realization that the next step is not up to me, in fact much of what happens next including the outcomes of the intervention do not belong to me, but instead, belong to my sister. It is her life and she gets to choose. All that is mine to do today is to hold space and make sure my sister knows she can call on me should she wish to do so. That I have done. I have a lot of experience in healing and becoming whole, so if my sister wants my help, I know what to do.
Based on yesterday’s conversation it would seem that my sister has never really targeted healing and wholeness. Her motivation in outing the secret was to protect others. She has two younger sisters and while she lived at home, she was able to watch over them and protect them from being victimized. They had normal childhoods, perhaps due to her vigilance or perhaps because her father was a onetime offender. When she left home, she realized she could no longer act in this watchdog role and that was her primary motivation for outing the secret. She was getting professional help at the time and taking part in group activities with other victims of sexual abuse; but once she outed the secret with the family she dropped these activities.
At some level, her identity remained that of an incest victim and it seems she has not been motivated to change that and seek out a new identity. When I gave up the game of bridge, I faced very similar issues. My identity was wrapped up in being a bridge player. That is how people knew me and how I presented myself. My living came from the game and so did my identity. Choosing to give up the game was therefore very difficult. Who was I if I no longer played bridge?
My motivation flowed from my sense of mission and an inner knowing that there was more to life than playing bridge. I took the intention to give up the game and focus that time and energy toward spiritual development including finding and developing a whole new set of friends. It was amazing how quickly it all took place once I took the appropriate intentions, but finding the will and the courage to take those intentions was no easy matter.
Last night I was awake for well over an hour holding space for my sister and fighting an inner battle of doubt and helplessness. Did I do the right thing? Is there anything more I can do? Try as I might, a sense of unease hung around me and persisted. Slowly it dissipated as I surrendered it again and again. Finally I went back to sleep and when I woke in the morning it was with the knowing that I had done Divinity’s work yesterday and the results of that work are not up to me. I can serve best by letting it all go, by accepting that it is now up to my sister. It is her choice.
Freedom for humanity…

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About freedom4humanity

Serving Humanity with information about the Divine process of Ascension.
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