Seventeen to One

A new friend exhibits a competitive persona in socially stressful situations. He is awakening spiritually and shifting in every facet of his life, divorced, between relationships, between jobs, losing weight, likely moving to a new home; you name it, he is doing it. He has expressed an interest in ‘getting together’; but it had not happened until a couple of days before Christmas when my daughter hosted a pie baking event with a female friend, her college age son and the son’s girlfriend. J.D. and I watched and kibitzed as the other four went about their pie baking business.
J.D was in fine form, bantering with the group and sending out a steady stream of funny but non-supportive comments mostly directed toward my daughter. They considered dating at one time but it has evolved into a platonic friendship, supporting each other on their path.
I previously invited the universe to create a venue for giving J.D. feedback related to the negative effects of his competitive persona and here was the venue. Competitive approaches to relationships are abrasive and destructive; regardless of the underlying intentions and emotions. At first I participated in the banter, turning J.D.’s good natured barbs back on him, joining the competitive fray in an elder statesman sort of way. I have skills in competitive banter having lived most of the first half century of this lifetime using a competitive paradigm. In the nineties, I learned the lesson I now targeted for J.D.
The pie maker friend is a partner in an accounting firm and lives by some learning that came her way about a decade ago. The most effective ratio for positive vs. negative communications is seventeen to one. This information had come her way from three disparate sources, one business oriented, one relationship oriented and the third parentally oriented. All said essentially the same thing. For best results target a ratio of seventeen supportive and nurturing comments for every criticism. Slowly the tone of the communications shifted and by the end of the pie making afternoon we were talking about this ratio and other matters in a serious and mutually supportive fashion and J.D. was acknowledging his bantering ratio to be far from this ideal ration, perhaps even reversed.
The final piece came after the pie makers left. J.D began talking about how he was hopelessly in debt to this ratio and I said, ‘It does not work like that. The past does not count. All that counts is the now, the present. If you want to shift all you do is observe this ratio starting now and moving forward.’ J.D. went silent and inward for a moment, a beautiful thing as it is in such moments that life changing shifts occur.
It is too early to tell whether J.D. will choose to shift. He is sovereign and this is his choice to make, no one else’s. He is now aware and he has all the skills and talents necessary to successfully make the shift. The universe will present him with plenty of opportunities to test drive his ability to attain the seventeen to one ratio in the event that becomes his sovereign choice. In my experience, it was a relatively simple shift to make once I chose to make it. I simply chose not to say the negative things that occurred to me and limit myself to positive comments.
To date he has failed to attract a primary relationship to his liking and this ratio has been hard at work. His stream of well meaning competitive barbs has attracted competitive women and created competitive responses. By shifting to the effective ratio, the attraction goes out for cooperative women and the relationship created by following this ratio creates cooperative and supportive interactions.
This may appear over simplified because there are lots of other factors at work, but make no mistake. Should J.D. choose to make this simple shift and choose to apply it to all of life’s situations, his life will shift and the woman of his dreams will be part of that shift. That is the power of attraction. That is the power each of us has to create our own experience.
Freedom for humanity…

About freedom4humanity

Serving Humanity with information about the Divine process of Ascension.
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