A Family Secret

Nothing was given me to write today and this was chosen from my archives. It was written a little over a year ago the outstanding issues were largely resolved in the weeks after this was written.
Posted on January 6, 2011 by freedom4humanity
Forty years or so ago, my father engaged in an incestuous relationship with the third of his five daughters. The details are unknown to me but it was an ongoing thing over a lengthy period of time and at least initially, there was some level of cooperation from the child, adding complications and confusion all around. The incest ended at some point but the negative energies of these events lived on, especially in the daughter, affecting her self image, her behaviour and her choices as she grew into adulthood and beyond.
Years later, the daughter chose to end the secret aspect of the incest, a giant step forward as anyone who has suffered abuse or dealt with abuse victims can attest. In this process, the secret became family knowledge and the negative energies came into the open where their burden is shared and where there is an opportunity to transcend their negative power.
The outing of family secrets affects everyone and each person handles it in their own way. I read a book called Annie’s Ghosts by Steve Luxenberg and although the secrets were different, the same themes play out; and the impact of the truth was much the same. Common negative reactions are denial, anger and resentment that the secret has been outed, and blame and guilt directed inwardly or at various participants.
A great deal was accomplished in the weeks and months following the outing of this secret, culminating in a family meeting chaired by the psychiatrist who worked with my father, the perpetrator of these events. After that meeting we resumed our normal lives and handled the outed secret in our own individual fashion. Some returned it to the dustbins of our consciousness and others continued the outing process, treating it as part of their experience and sharing it when that seemed appropriate. One of the sisters is a university professor and included this experience in the course material she taught; very helpful for people with similar experiences in their past. I also followed this path and have had many opportunities to share with beneficial results; this blog being one example.
The father died recently and his death exhumed various unfinished aspects of this sordid affair. It is commonly agreed that the father never felt fully forgiven and this residue contributed to his failing health and eventual death. Another aspect commonly although perhaps not fully agreed is that the father never fully understood the magnitude of his misdeed and did not do some of the things he could have done to repair the damage done. These factors played on each other and an enmity of sorts continued between father and daughter up to and including his death.
After the father’s funeral, where the good was emphasised and the misdeeds were played low key, the daughter expressed her lingering resentment and several of her peers went on record with their own views, some supportive and some not.
In the big picture, this is all good. Negative energies thrive in secrecy and a public airing of views has the overall impact of bringing secrets to light and lessening their strength. I know from past experience that negative energies can be ended; that the life they have can be drained from them and the energies transcended into positive energies. If the father had fully done his part, that might already have taken place. As it is we each have work to do and the airing of views is part of that work. As in all things, love is the answer and forgiveness sets the stage for love.
Love and forgiveness to all, both to the living and to the dead; but especially to the living.
Freedom for humanity…

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About freedom4humanity

Serving Humanity with information about the Divine process of Ascension.
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