Clearing of my 3D ties continues. My ex, Lynn, called last night. I almost did not answer the call, it has been that long since we talked that I had forgotten her number but things twigged in the nick of time and I answered. She was about to hang up, and it took a couple of hellos on my part before she answered back.
The call was prompted by news of an old bridge friend named Barrie. We go way back to my days as a Flin Flon bridge player travelling with a group of keen Flin Flonners to tournaments in Saskatchewan and Manitoba. I learned the game in Saskatoon at University and Barrie was carrying on my tradition of attending more bridge sessions than classes. I managed to graduate and was working as an engineer in the metallurgical plants in Flin Flon. He was making his way in the bridge world and in life; one of the many talented players from Saskatchewan who went on to play bridge professionally, finding people willing to pay them for the privilege of being their partner. Barrie had a tremendous mind for the game of bridge, better than mine, and we became good friends; very good friends. Our approaches to the game were very different so we were infrequent partners but frequent teammates in what was usually the best team in the tournament, unless it was big enough to attract the travelling pros.
I left the game in the mid 2000s, and have not played at the highest level for nearly a decade, leaving the game entirely when I split with Lynn in May of 08, nearly six years ago. My spiritual development and my mission slowly took over and eventually there was no room for bridge or for the many bridge friends I had amassed over the years. Barrie was one such friend and we have had no communications for several years. The news was not good…Barrie has advanced cancer and is in palliative care. Lynn did not know where and I send Barrie my love. I do not feel motivated to call him, sharing little in common these days.
The call continued with news from the bridge scene in Toronto. Lynn is still very involved, directing at tournaments and playing two or three times a week when there is no tournament to attend to. Some bad news as a mutual friend is also dying of cancer. She is still playing and looks good but the cancer is everywhere and the prognosis is ‘terminal’. We also shared family news. My oldest daughter travels a lot and has maintained a relationship with Lynn (that is how she got my new number), staying with her on occasion when passing through Toronto so Lynn was already up to speed on my family news. Little has changed in her family in the two plus years since we last talked.
Something else has not changed…Lynn continues to live in 3D and continues to hold realities that hold me as disconnected from reality. That is her right but a call once every two years is plenty. Another undercurrent remains. She continues to bemoan her choices of the last few months we were together and continues to hold the view that she could and in fact should have controlled my behaviour in those months. That was a central tenant of my decision to leave. I was taking back my sovereignty. I was true to my marriage vows but refused to allow Lynn to dictate who I could or could not be-friend. Several of my spiritual friends were female and they would call on occasion; just as friends.
Basically, Lynn did not support me in my world view or in my quest to develop spiritually or in my growing dedication to living my mission. All of this, in her view, was a threat to her and to our relationship and she put a lot of effort into trying to control me and end these pursuits, to convincing me to join her in her chosen timeline of a happy retirement together. That is not what I wanted to do or be.
That was the reason I left. I left to pursue my inner guidance, to pursue my mission and be all that I am. Sovereignty was the bases of our incompatibility. I willingly granted Lynn her sovereignty…she never returned the favour.
Freedom for humanity…